I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

Wow, blogging gone awry

on February 4, 2015

I have always found wordpress to be such a helpful place, I have shared so many stories with so many people here and I have learned so much about myself and others. I have laughed and cried with some of you, I have read your stories and wept, I have read your stories and smiled, this place has been my lifeline at times and I’ve been so so thankful for it.

Today, I read someone’s blog that said she was worried about how many people she is helping and that it was stressing her out. I left a comment suggesting she not worry about how many people she is helping and instead focus on herself through her blog, and if she wants to help people professionally that she should get a BA or diploma. She understood what I had said and responded nicely but a bunch of people she has apparently helped have since attacked me and it’s the most bizarre thing ever. I’ve had misunderstandings with people before but they’ve always been cleared up because I have spent many hours of my life on here trying to be positive, and sharing my pain but by suggesting this woman either goes professional or focuses on herself instead has incited incredible vitriol from these people and they wont see what my actual point was, they refuse to acknowledge that perhaps it was worded badly, but the advice is sound.

I’m sorry but if you want to help people professionally, you NEED to learn about duty of care and all that goes along with that. And to learn about that you need to get a diploma, or a certificate or SOME kind of course! Why is it that me simply commenting on that has made people attack me? Have any of you thought about how you’d feel if you were simply trying to help someone by leaving what you considered a thoughtful comment and having a bunch of their ‘fans’ attacking you? Do any of you small minded people that missed my point have any idea how it feels when you’re just trying to communicate your opinion to someone and you get shit on? Told your opinion is wrong and that you should stop telling people how to live their lives!!! OMG! I wasn’t telling her how to live her life!!! What I said to her was clear, I’m sorry people are so offended that I’ve suggested a mental health professional should have some BASIC education on the subject, but it’s true! I have seen harmful advice being given in comments here so many many times, and the problem is that a lot of people think they are helping when they are potentially doing more damage than good, and there is no way for them to know this without a basic level of training on the subject so sure, I think a bunch of us are able to help each other and lean on each other through our blogs, you don’t need an education to be a successful blogger and reach people and help them, but if you want to be a mental health professional you simply have to learn a few things first.

So i’ve learned my lesson, I will no longer be going through other people’s blogs or leaving comments or generally bothering to try and help anyone else through this place because the way these people attacked me is not something i would wish on anyone else, and it’s not something i care to experience again. This place has gone from being my rock to somewhere that just makes my heart hurt!

Peace xo

29 responses to “Wow, blogging gone awry

  1. words4jp says:

    Oy. I am so sorry that happened to you. I have had people misunderstand me – it does make you want to just walk away. Many times I just read and not comment. Here are some bugs – xxxxxx 🙂

  2. That sucks!!! You have a right to your opinion and it certainly sounds like sound advice. Fuck the naysayers!! I hate how it’s somehow become de rigeur to be a shithead on blogs!!!

    • mckarlie says:

      Thank you lovely, I think I was partially trolled lol I went to look at the blog of the one really idiotic person afterwards and it had been deleted. Has it really come to that tho, setting up WordPress account reading through comments and then attacking someone who is mentally ill for shits and giggles? What if this had happened while I was having a weak spell…what if it happens to someone else who is having a weak spell. It’s worrying.

      • Right!! This trolling shit has GOT to GO!!!

      • mckarlie says:

        You’re so right, praying on the mentally ill is just that step too far. So many of us are hanging on by a thread at certain moments and who knows what damage it could do

      • Exactly!! Some fuckheads really get off on being cruel!! If anyone ever posted any trash on my page, believe you me, I would delete it so fast your head would spin!!! In fact, there was one time that my own little sister posted some shit and *blip* I deleted it. She doesn’t get a voice on my page for her vitriol!

      • mckarlie says:

        Not the sister that just visited? That’s so uncool. It’s possible you’re a bit stronger than I am, I swear every time I have some kind of altercation I blast off and what not but the second no one can see me, I’m a heaping mess of tears lol I’m really just a big wuss

      • No not the sister that just visited 😀 The sister that just visited is a year and a half older than me. My youngest sister, eight years younger, is the toxic waste sister.

      • mckarlie says:

        There can be a weird dynamic with siblings, especially when there is that gap in age. I grew up quite closely with my cousin and now have a sister hate relationship lol silly fuckers that annoy us! Haha x

  3. dyane says:

    I am so, so sorry this happened. It’s beyond ridiculous and rude. I hope that today the sting of it has lessened.

    You absolutely did the right thing in making your comment, and as far as those bitter freaks who attacked you are concerned…well, I better stop right now before I type out a lot of very, very bad words! 😉 XOXOXOO

    • mckarlie says:

      Hindsight is a wonderful thing after all lol I do feel completely vindicated in fairness and I learned my lesson not to let people rattle me so much. I was already down see, so it was far too easy for me to lose it lol

  4. Kennedy says:

    What you said is perfectly nice and good advice! People can really suck. Sorry this happened to you.

    • mckarlie says:

      Thanks Kennedy, you and I both know how miscommunications can happen lol but this was something quite different, akin to trolling really so I feel a bit stupid for letting it bother me but hey I’m bipolar and a bit fragile lol hope you’re good love xo

      • Kennedy says:

        Hahaha do we ever 🙂 Luckily we are an example of actually communicating and figuring things out! That sucks, people can be really nasty on purpose. thanks you too, xoxo

  5. khaleesismom says:

    I’m sorry that this happened this way. I always take advice with a grain of salt and unfortunately I cannot control what people say. I can only control what I say. I wish you every happiness. we all have low days and you are clearly very strong for getting through it. kudos and good luck with your blog. I hope you won’t stop because of a misunderstanding that went too far.

    • mckarlie says:

      I appreciate you stopping by. I understand that I touched a nerve with my suggestion, but the fact is I was in a similar situation to you 12 years ago when I was your age, and I learned the hard way that if you want to help people and counsel them, you have to learn about duty of care. It’s a beautiful thing that you are working hard to help people and working on your writing, I think you have an innate gift for this from what I have read, so by no means is anyone trying to take away from that. Perhaps you could nicely suggest to the people that follow you that when we disagree with people in comments it’s important to make sure we have read and understood things properly first and to remember that other people have their mental health struggles and attacking others because of one’s own ignorance is akin to a hate crime. I know it sounds dramatic but it’s true. All the best to you darlin 🙂

      • khaleesismom says:

        No, not dramatic. Very true. I agree with that. I feel like it was a bad mixture of people that have issues controlling their emotions. We all do in this community. I love my readers no matter what. Whether they stop by once, or comment once, or learn anything from my struggles. I appreciate you. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement!

      • mckarlie says:

        Do you know the girl who went by Hattie18? The most aggressive one, because I went to look at her blog and it told me she no longer existed on wordpress. That makes me wonder if it wasn’t a troll, and if there is trolling going on in this way then we have to figure out a way to combat that because us folks with mental illness can’t afford to have people reading our most personal feelings and thoughts and then using that against us to make us feel awful.

      • khaleesismom says:

        Not sure. Lots of users merely use wordpress to read other blogs. That is all i know. I can say that none of them have ever said anything like this before yesterday. Not even once.

      • mckarlie says:

        Sure no worries darl, I was just wondering about her because the fact that the handle was deleted afterwards smacks of troll behaviour. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I’ve figured out why and how I pissed people off so much, I still think I’m right though LOL in fairness darlin I was just having an awful day and that ended up being the cherry on top but I do appreciate you coming by and if there’s ever any support you yourself need, please don’t hesitate to hit me up. Even healers need healing 🙂

      • khaleesismom says:

        Very very true fact. Thank you

  6. I am so sorry this happened to you, and glad you have gotten perspective. Here are a few thoughts from someone who does have a “duty of care.” What you said to the other blogger was completely appropriate. If her goal is to help others, she needs to not get stressed out about it, or she is focusing on blogging for the wrong reason. I am always very careful about what I say to people in cyberspace, because of my “duty of care,” and am often frustrated by this because I would love to say more. So, here’s what I have to say to you…good for you for speaking your mind. Don’t let the backlash discourage you. The fact that you got so much backlash is simply a reflection of the reality that many people blog not to express themselves, but to try to connect with others (not a bad thing), and are then disappointed if they are not getting their needs met in the way they expected. Cyberspace has it’s advantages and disadvantages. Keep perspective, and keep blogging. You are great!

    • mckarlie says:

      Thank you I appreciate your kind words and thoughtful response. It was a rare circumstance of events coming together yesterday that caused me to have a more emotional response to this than I ordinarily would have, it is of course part of my personality and illness that when things accumulate I can get a bit overwhelmed but I identified with that wonderful gift, hindsight, where communication broke down and why there was the hostility towards me. Usually this occurs BEFORE I respond haha, but unfortunately I let it upset me. I have learned a lot about myself and my limits and when it’s a good time to just avoid the Internet, even people in general and maybe have a meditate instead of commenting or interacting 🙂

  7. lonlon558 says:

    I always worry this could happen to me, too, and it’s a shame because at times it makes me censor myself. But I’m not really good at censoring myself (hold on, let me strikethrough that part) so they’re just going to have to deal with it. Keep speaking your mind, girl, cause that’s what this place is all about. Don’t let a few bad apples (oh, I take that back) ruin your experience here. Turn it around and make it a positive one by smacking each of them up the side of the head and telling them to beat it (uh, oh, that could be taken the wrong way. Eh.)

    Hope you know I love you and your posts!!

    • mckarlie says:

      Oh thank you so much it’s very kind encouragement you offered. It upset me at the time because I was struggling with a lot of things but I’m actually glad it happened now, you learn a lot through your failures as well as successes x

  8. Feel free to comment on my blog whenever you want.

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