I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

Are you completely alone?

on August 26, 2014

I’ve been browsing through blogs and i have read so many sad posts, so many people are writing that they are really down and alone and can’t find their way out of it. So much depression and sadness, it’s like we’re all shuffling around staring at our feet, not noticing that there are others all around us that are going through the same shit. We end up so immersed in our own negativity that we are consumed by it, we can’t see any end to the despair and we convince ourselves that we are completely isolated and no one truly understands what we are going through.

It amazes and worries me that today, with 50 bazillion different ways of communicating with each other about every aspect of every day we live, that we are in fact talking less. We know what our friends had for dinner last night and that they’re going to the beach this weekend but no one really talks anymore, we get scared of telling anyone what’s actually going on inside for fear or rejection or judgement or just the pain in the ass of having to explain it all. So we bury ourselves deeper into depression, isolated but desperate for some understanding or affection.

If you’re someone who feels alone, i urge you to reach out to someone. if you don’t have anyone in your life that you can talk to about this stuff then find someone online, there are so many good people out there who will listen and care, and sometimes that’s all we need to start to put ourselves on the road back to good. if anyone is alone and desperate then heck, tell me! i’ll listen, i’m happy to give my email to anyone that wants to talk.

if you’re feeling like you can’t keep going please just remember that all things eventually pass, good and bad, and you will get through whatever it is you’re going through. i know how it can feel endless and how despair is not conducive to helping ourselves but we have more power to help ourselves than we often let ourselves believe, there is hope.


4 responses to “Are you completely alone?

  1. Rose says:

    Indeed, Miss McKarlie, all things do pass. And that’s what makes life tolerable, personally, for me. I can be in the lowest of lows, but if I can find myself remembering that it will pass, that there will be mania or normalcy again, I can make it through a lot easier.

    I also totally agree where I think you are referencing FB. Everyone makes their life seem so glittery and perfect. I’m on there for the (almost) sole purpose of watching my friends’ kids grow up and reading interesting articles. No one every posts anything negative (or like me, rarely posts period) — there is not only a stigma surrounding mental illness, but there is a stigma about being plain sad.

    • mckarlie says:

      so so true lovely, stigma does so much damage it makes me desperately irritated sometimes. i think depression in itself has gained more understanding in the last 20 years but bipolar is so misunderstood and misrepresented by the entertainment industry and media it’s terrible. people use it as an adjective for appliances that don’t work properly, it pisses me off lol

  2. Great post, thank you for addressing this. I agree that a lot of people seem to be struggling right now. Thanks for the reminder that we need to reach out for help, even when we don’t want to, don’t have the energy, don’t feel up to battling the stigma just to get help. It’s overwhelming and it passes, but it’s sure torturous in the moments, days, centuries that it lasts.

    It’s embarrassing to tell people how severe my depression is, because so many people just deny such a thing exists. “It’s all in your head. Snap out of it.” I agree with Rose that there is a stigma about even being sad, so debilitating depression scares the crap out of many- they treat you like a freak, avoid you, exclude you, and use your illness to hide their own awful behavior.
    I have friends that would understand, but I’ve leaned on them so much that I don’t want to exhaust them. It’s hard to find the right support system of people who work to be healthy, and support each other in that quest. Our society encourages the opposite in so many ways. xo

    • mckarlie says:

      hi, and thanks! i think half the battle is feeling understood and cared for isn’t it? i think most of us with a mental illness have at least one horror story of sharing with a friend and having it backfire on us in some way, but then i think society in general fears what it does not understand and that can cause so much isolation for those of us who are struggling. i just wish people recognized mental illness for what it is, an illness. it’s not something we can CHOOSE to get over, we can’t simply choose to feel happy and blammo, happy. and when you can’t snap your fingers and get happy people get frustrated.

      i hope you manage to find yourself a sturdy support system, for me just having the support of lovely people like rose makes a great difference 🙂

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