I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

Just stop for a moment

on October 28, 2013

Sometimes I feel like i’m standing in the middle of the world’s busiest motorway, cars whizzing and whirling past me, wind blowing me backwards and forwards in a violent sway. Cars honking at each other to hurry up or slow down or move over or move round, DOOF DOOF DOOF from the subwoofers that people install in their vehicles because standard bass just isn’t enough. Constant chatter from everywhere around me, negative thoughts and mantras stuck in my head like glue, my brain a gelatinous magnate that attracts such thoughts like flies to a corpse. Sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs ‘why can’t we all just get along’ – a thought to which people roll their eyes or turn up their turny uppy noses. We live in a world where if there isn’t a fight people will find one, even if you agree on a point a person can find a way in which you agree differently and thus have a problem with each other. When the fuck did everyone become so hard and unwilling to bend? When did we all become so concerned with our causes and making sure everyone knows our thoughts on our causes and bending others to our own will?

Some might say that life is hard and to suck it up and get on with it, but i choose not to live life that way. Life is hard, but life is also beautiful and amazing at times and if we could focus a little less on shouting our opinions and forcing our points and maybe listen to what’s going on around us, listen to what other people have to say, life would be less like grating a piece of steel wool and more like it’s meant to be. Maybe we could have more positive encounters than negative.

I don’t go out looking for a fight but if one is thrown at me I will defend myself accordingly. But the fact that I have to do this is taxing, social media has given people just the right amount of anonymity to purge their opinions and thoughts and feelings on perfect strangers and act as if it’s their given right. If the devil is real he created facebook, never has such passive aggression and general whining come together in one place in such a way that it makes me want to not have any “friends” at all. I’d rather watch my cat lick itself than spent an afternoon on facebook, it seems far more productive and much healthier for my social well being.

Some people are just intent on being negative, in finding the bad in any given situation. If that’s you, then FINE, be as you are, just don’t shit on my doorstep and call me a hippie because I give a fuck about other people. Roll your eyes and call me your names because it makes you feel better, it makes you feel like you have some semblance of control in what is in fact a big old cluster fuck of randomness and the only control we have is over ourselves, how we act and how we treat other people. What we contribute to society and what we take away is completely up to us, if people treat you miserably it’s probably because you are miserable. Given, I sometimes feel like I’m not treated fairly but then I realize I’m feeling sorry for myself and when I actually think about what is the root of someone’s motivation if anything it’s apathy as opposed to callousness. But we take exception and get offended over so many little things that we just don’t need to stress ourselves over.

The human brain exists in such a way that we used to have to fight for survival. Shelter, food, these things were never guaranteed, so as we evolved we had to be mindful of how to survive. Now, in today’s current society, most of us do have a roof over our head and enough food to get by so that part of the brain goes searching for something, and a lot of the time what it finds is a fight where there isn’t one. The urge to defend ourselves from something that isn’t an attack, the urge to be heard when all we need to do is speak, not scream and flail about like our lives depend on everyone hearing our thoughts.

I try to have positive experiences with people but sometimes it’s like pissing up a flagpost. Nothing good can come of it and you end up covered in your own pee. I do truly wish everyone could just get along but I have my brain stem connected and realize this is never going to happen, but I do genuinely think it could happen on smaller scales if people just chilled out, put themselves in the other person’s shoes and showed some grace and thoughtfulness when interacting with other people.


8 responses to “Just stop for a moment

  1. Rose says:

    Can’t we all just get along? I totally agree. Like I’ve said before, sometimes it is as if I have given up on the human race, other than my little circle, and I applaud you for continuing to try. Maybe one day I’ll get there. Best always, Rose

    • mckarlie says:

      Hello lovely, believe me, I understand the appeal. As my rant states lol I get pissed off and disillusioned with the human race often, and sometimes being nice feels like an exercise in futility. But yeah, gotta crack on because I’d rather try and fail than not try at all πŸ™‚

  2. This is a brilliant post – I felt that way for such a long time, and it’s something I don’t want to lose from myself.

    I’ve noticed since moving back to this little town, I’ve become SO judgemental and while I’m certainly entitled to my opinion – I don’t always need to express it.

    Thank you for writing this and for finding my blog – visiting yours has been such a refreshing energy boost.

    • mckarlie says:

      Thank you kindly, it’s amazing what a difference it can make when we find another person who understands what we’re going through isn’t it. I felt alone and angry for so long, misunderstood by everyone around me, it’s really alienating. I’m glad I found your blog, and you get me! That’s awesome πŸ™‚

  3. Aussa Lorens says:

    Why is this so much easier said than done? It’s weird because most people have *some* people they get along with– and it’s likely that these people aren’t exactly like them, they’ve just had circumstances where a friendship was able to develop. Can’t we acknowledge the reality that under certain circumstances, potentially anyone could have been/could be a friend? OH MY LORD I sound sooooo froofy and I’m not froofy but the word “friend” is froofy so I’m going to stop talking. But I agree with you. That’s all.

    • mckarlie says:

      I find it easy most of the time, now and again I get frustrated and it bubbles up. I don’t think we’re meant to have a great many ‘friends’ but I consider friends people you can count on. Acquaintances sure, I have loads, and if I run into them at the shop we will stop and chat for a few minutes but I guess I just think we should all be a little nicer to each other, in a general sense. I’m one of the froofiest people around so you’ll get no froofy judgement here πŸ™‚

  4. hillbillyprincess77 says:

    It’s like you were reading my mind when you wrote this. Excellent post!

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