I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

How can we reach gender equality when we are not equal?

on October 24, 2013

I saw a thing on tv this morning where they showcased a bunch of ads that have men, generally with their shirts off, being objectified in some manner. It makes me wonder about equality, i hear so many women wanting to be considered equal but then saying something like “i hate all men” or lusting over some muscle clad guy on tv. If men were to act this way, a lot of women would be outraged, when they ogle busty women we roll our eyes and consider them cavemen, if they were to blurt out ‘i hate all women’ we would consider them hostile towards our gender and damaged in some way, but it’s ok for us to do?

Generally, men are physically stronger than women, generally, women express emotion more freely than men, this doesn’t mean that it’s true of EVERY man and EVERY woman, but it’s a generalization with some truth behind it. It doesn’t mean that we are lesser beings because we struggle to get the lid off the jar sometimes, and it doesn’t mean men are lesser beings because they don’t express emotion as freely, it just means we are different, and if instead of competing and wanting to be ‘equal’ we accepted that we are different, both genders inherently have innate strengths and weaknesses, then maybe we could gain a little peace on this matter.

It’s true that in a professional capacity women are often paid less for the same job and are often overlooked for promotions for fear of them becoming baby making machines, but again this isn’t always the case, and it only affects a small percentage of the population, a small percentage of industries and job positions. It’s true, it sucks, but every decade that passes this is becoming less and less of an issue, there are some strong kick ass women out there in high power positions doing great work and paving the way, so i have faith that over time there will be equality in this field.

But do we really need to be equal outside of the work place? Equal worth as human beings, yes, of course!!! That should go without saying, the worth of every human should be the same regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation, religion and so on, but why are we so focused on being considered the same in many ways that we simply aren’t the same?

When i see a woman say “I hate all men” or ogle a shirtless man and make comments that objectify him, i liken this behavior to that of what women expect an adolescent males to be. It’s true, sometimes a man will act like a jerk and hurt a woman emotionally, but at the very same time out there somewhere, a woman is hurting a man emotionally just as much. Does it give him license to declare that all women are assholes? Because I’ve heard many many women declare that all men are assholes and they see nothing wrong with doing so. Fact is, they’re not, all men are definitely not assholes, some are, some aren’t and some are sporadic assholes, but that’s true of every person. I can certainly be a raging bitch sometimes, but i’m also a kind and loving person, so if i heard a man declare ‘all women are bitches’ i would take exception to that, but you tend not to hear many men making such statements and the ones that do are in my experience, pretty pig headed and far gone yet i often hear perfectly intelligent rational women declare that all men are pigs or assholes or whatever, you get the gist.

I’ve been married for some time, and we are opposites. I’m good at some things and he’s good at others and instead of trying to compete with him I’ve come to love the things about him that he’s good at and he respects and loves the things about me that I’m good at. We realize we both have strengths and weaknesses and treat each other accordingly. He’s not great at talking about feelings or identifying emotional issues, so I pick up the slack in that area, I’m bipolar and have mood swings and can be oversensitive, so he shows patience and love when I’m acting unfairly.

When I was younger I expected much more of a man than I do now, I expected my every emotional whim to be met with understanding and respect but over time I have come to accept that it’s just not possible, we are different creatures and it’s ok, it’s not their fault if they don’t pick up on subtle or passive aggressive lady cues, ’cause what’s obvious to us is not necessarily obvious to them, So maybe if we just cut each other a break and respect that we have differences, and work with those differences, we can all get along a little better and understand each other with greater ease.

4 responses to “How can we reach gender equality when we are not equal?

  1. words4jp says:

    Well written!! Amen.

  2. Ah the different standards are amazing aren’t they? 🙂

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