mckarlie

I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

How often do we impact others negatively?

on October 22, 2013

It’s often chaos while dropping the kids off at school, made worse at the moment by the fact that most of the car spots are taken up by tradesman working across the road. A car exited a spot and I went to drive into it but the massive car in the spot behind decided to move up, even though she had a spot, and took my car park. I beeped, and she waived her hands in the air at me and said something I couldn’t hear, her response was aggressive. She had a massive car and I have a tiny one, so i couldn’t really compete. My point here is, why did she feel it necessary to do that? We all have a thousand choices every day where we can choose to be an arsehole or choose to be kind, every little interaction we have may impact another person, and this negatively impacted me, it put the start of my day off to a shitty start and now i’m in a crap mood. Maybe on another day I would have been able to just shake my head and get over it instantly, but today, it made me angry/sad.

I come across quite a few people who look down their nose at me, they seem to think because i am bubbly and a little muddle headed that i’m not bright enough to notice that they are looking down their nose at me, but i notice everything. I analyze everything, i’m a constant worrier and contemplate human actions and comments a great deal. I rarely use facebook anymore because for a person as sensitive as i am, it’s just not a good idea. It’s all whining or passive aggression and pictures of what people had for dinner, but more so, passive aggression. I unusually made a comment on a friends status this morning, in good humour, and one of the people that tends to look down their nose at me made a further comment, almost to point out how puerile i am, and while i don’t really care what this person thinks of me, it has me thinking – why do i attract so much mean behaviour?

Do others find this? Do others try to be friendly and find it symbolizes them as weak? I think this is my main problem, I try to be friendly and i joke and am over sensitive, all of these things, and when a person who craves superiority of any kind smells this on another person, they exploit it. Fundamentally, I know that this says a lot more about them than it does me, that they have a need to feel better than others because they are inherently insecure or have some kind of superiority complex, but it doesn’t stop it feeling unpleasant.

I used to be like this, because of insecurity i would act coldly and quite nasty towards others at times. But this was in my twenties while i was working through a lot of pain and trying to find who i was as a person, for some it seems to be a permanent state of being.

If we all took a step back and considered how we affect others, how we would feel if something we are doing to someone else was done to us, the world would get along a lot better than it does. If instead of taking someone’s car park we realize it’s a nasty thing to do and stay where we are or look for another, if instead of making snarky comments we keep it to ourselves, a lot of people would be a lot happier than they are now.

We can’t all be perfect all of the time, and sometimes we are going to act like a dick, but maybe we need to take responsibility when we do and rectify it when we can. At the end of the day, people need to get along. There are so many many reasons out there why we shouldn’t get along but we need to refocus on all the reasons why we should.

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4 responses to “How often do we impact others negatively?

  1. I get this a lot too! I think we are sensitive and see things like this, but you’re right= there are a lot of people out there who don’t think before they speak.

    • mckarlie says:

      Yeah I think it’s a common problem for a lot of people with a mental illness, we feel things too much, which carries over to social issues. But really, when you stand back and look at it, there are a lot of people being arseholes for no good reason, and i know there are a thousand stresses for every day life but if people were just a little kinder, listened to each other and focused more on love than hate, life would be a lot easier

  2. Rose says:

    I am not a nice, bubbly person, but I do find that people tend to be assholes, in general. I think this is what makes me so hostile to the general public. Kudos to you for continuing to be nice and friendly — I just can’t do it, especially not right now. I’m kind of like you described you were in your 20’s. Here’s holding out for sunshine and rainbows, but it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be that kind of day. I envy your peace, but do wish the very best for you.

    • mckarlie says:

      Well you can’t make yourself act in a way you’re not comfortable, and i definitely relate to it feeling safer and easier to block yourself off from people in general. I spent years doing so, but over time i’ve learned that more often than not, you get back what you put out, and if you go about your day holding the world at arms length and feeling negative about people, then people are going to feel negatively about you. It’s true, sometimes i put goodness out there only to get shit on but that’s life and if i let that beat me down then i would be letting their issues affect me so much that they win. When you’re ready, maybe you can try just a little…i know it’s safer in our own cocoons but you might be missing out on some really awesome experiences, and i’d hate for that to be the case 😉

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