I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

Falling Flower

on July 19, 2013

Her beauty is obvious to all who gaze upon her

She likes her pretty things and has a collection of fur

She has a high rise apartment with city views afar

When you walk down the street with her she leaves mens jaws ajar

One day I noticed on her arm a trail of hand made cuts

She noticed that I’d noticed and made her ifs and buts

I wondered why this beauty, who could turn heads with a smile

Would feel so out of control, somehow see herself as vile

She told me next time I saw her that it was rape that began her pain

And that her Father left her, she had never been the same

She wears a smile for the world to see because she feels it’s best

She says people are nicer to her as she’s prettier than the rest

What would people think if they knew she had her flaws

She’s scared that showing vulnerability will somehow close down doors

I told this pretty flower what is inside makes it’s way out

And if she keeps hiding her pain so deep she’d break, I had no doubt

She assured me that she had control and only did as she chose

She couldn’t let the world see that inside she’s broken and morose

I tried to break the shell outside to pull out what was hidden

But after time and time again I learned it was forbidden

So imagine how sad it was to hear the most heartbreaking news

That apartment with the fancy furs and amazing city views

Had a balcony, up high above – oh what a choice to choose

10 responses to “Falling Flower

  1. […] Falling Flower ( […]

  2. shoe1000 says:

    I am sad for her
    Another soul lost

    because of fear
    and shame
    she paid the cost

    We hide and shun
    those who love us

    we think we are

    and then we
    become it

  3. its heartbreaking when people make that choice – there but for the grace of god go I – there were times it seemed the only way forward – but thankfully, so very thankfully, its a path I didn’t take – very well written.

    • mckarlie says:

      Thank you. It’s a decision I’ve faced a few times myself, I couldn’t leave my girls the rest of their lives knowing that I didn’t love them enough to fight harder.

  4. words4jp says:

    I have come close to making this decision and I know i have the capability to do it again – it seems each bout of depression has been worse – deeper and darker. But I, like you have tow children – and a pooch – and they are why i stop. But i fear that someday, i will not be in control of that stopping mechanism.

    • mckarlie says:

      I haven’t faced that decision in a while due to therapy and the right mix of meds. Are you taking medication? I know a lot of people are skeptical about it but I genuinely believe it helps and your kids need you πŸ™‚

  5. Your poems are so eloquent and capture such emotion while remaining almost at an analytical distance. Your writing is beautiful, as is your heart.

    • mckarlie says:

      I genuinely can’t tell you how happy that comment made me, that’s the kind of thing a person would put in their book sleeve. I thank you for you amazing feedback. Coming from someone I consider quite talented it means a lot πŸ™‚

  6. […] Falling Flower | mckarlie Her beauty is obvious to all who gaze upon herShe likes her pretty things and has a collection of furShe has a high rise apartment with city views afarWhen you walk down the street with her she leaves mens jaws ajarOne day  […]

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