mckarlie

I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

Dear Mum, this one’s on you

on July 2, 2013

A Mother is a lovely creature blessed with warmth and heart

A Mother is the person who loves you from the start

They’re there for you when you’re sick or down

And in your darkest moments can always be found

It’s an endless love that’s given, from a Mother to a child

From the moment she holds you in her arms a Mother is beguiled

True love emanates from a Mother’s every pore

Just seeing her baby happy, she couldn’t ask for more

So what happens when a Mother lets harm come to her child

What happens when a Mother finds her love grow colder, mild

What happens when a mother cares more for getting laid

Than if her child goes to school or if the bills are paid

What happens when a Mother lets her boyfriend beat you blue

And when a Mother stays silent and he puts his fingers inside of you

From what I understand, a hole forms deep inside

You try to fill it with boys and drugs but the hole keeps growing wide

You feel as though you’re broken, you’re damaged underneath

You think that you deserve it when he breaks your jaw and teeth

You accept that you are worthless, that you were born this way

And with that comes a pain that makes it hard to go on another day

But Mother I have realized that the fault does not lie with me

You knew everything that was happening but you chose not to see

So yes now I AM angry and I can’t look upon your face

For I am still trying to fill the hole your love left in it’s place

I’m not the one who fucked up Mum, I’m not the bad one here

So don’t pretend it’s my fault that I am nowhere near

Ā 

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5 responses to “Dear Mum, this one’s on you

  1. I feel the same exact way about my dad. Completely different situation, he chose his crack pipe and hookers over me after my mother died. Now he loves to guilt trip me about choosing not to have him in my life. I have no idea what I will tell my future children when they ask about my dad. What do you tell your kids about your mom?

    • mckarlie says:

      Different situation but ultimately the same thing, he chose himself over you, never the way it should be with your child. I’m quite open with them, I told them how Nanny let bad things happen to Mummy and it was making me very sad to be around them and mummy and nanny just couldn’t get along so mum chose not to see them anymore cause it was making me very unhappy. They still see my 19 yo sister sporadically but that’s it, all of them were cut off. They understand quite well šŸ™‚

  2. Farrah says:

    Couldn’t have said it any better šŸ˜‰
    Praying for you!

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