I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

Letters to a stranger

on July 1, 2013

Dear Dad, I know I never met you, you’ve never been in my life

You barely knew my Mother not your girlfriend nor your wife

But I have so many questions, some things I’d like to know

I wonder what you look like what your job is where you go

From day to day the people you see and those who you surround

I wonder why you never came to see me, why you never came around

It makes me wonder if there’s always been a fault under my skin

But logically I know it’s not me I just don’t know where to begin

My Grandpa once told me that I have my Father’s eyes

And I’m pretty sure things Mum said about you were nothing more than lies

She’s scared of me finding you and I can’t help but wonder why

I wish you would have said hello so I could have at least said goodbye

It feels as though there’s pieces of me scattered all over the place

I wonder what I inherited from you and if I have your face

My hands are small, are they yours, did they come from you?

All these questions unanswered, I just don’t know what to do

Somehow I miss a person, I’ve never even met

My Mother says you’re evil, you took drugs and liked to bet

But my Mother let bad things happen, nothing did she do

Yet she tells me you’d be bad for me, the bad parent would be you

I just wish that I could see you once and maybe get some answers

I just want to talk to you I promise not to badger

But surely you can understand I feel I’m missing part of me

I’ll never know why you disappeared but waiting I will always be

10 responses to “Letters to a stranger

  1. shoe1000 says:

    AS strong a statement I have heard from a daughter to a father.
    This is sooo loving, gentle yet powerful.
    Thank you

  2. crissybwell says:

    Wow I can really relate in a lot of ways to this. In different ways, because I wasn’t abandoned, but still I know he is out there and I just wish once I would get the chance to met him or talk to him. I have always wondered about him, how it would be to met him, who I would be if he had been in my life…I am sorry for your struggle and wonder. But this is beautiful and I do really understand where you are coming from. *hugs*

    • mckarlie says:

      Thank you lovely, not knowing one’s Father leaves a gaping hole and so many questions doesn’t it. And the Father figures my mother implemented did nothing but hurt and abuse me, makes me wonder if he’s really all that bad! So nice to relate πŸ™‚

      • crissybwell says:

        I couldn’t agree more and yes trying to understand and fill that gap is hard. I am sorry for the inadequate to say the least father figures you had in your life 😦 you deserved better. I never had a male figure growing u which created its own issues. But yes sadly can relate but it’s good to have those who can understand. πŸ™‚

      • mckarlie says:

        Thank you sweetie, very kind of you to say. No child deserves to grow up being scared in their own home, but many do. If you kept my email, send me your story sometime. Would be great to swap stories and talk more, you’re a doll πŸ™‚

      • crissybwell says:

        Aww you are very kind and I can’t help but agree. No child deserves that and yes I do still have it πŸ™‚ I will definitely email you. Thank you hon.

      • mckarlie says:

        lol we agree on A LOT! it’s nice. i look forward to hearing more about you πŸ™‚

      • crissybwell says:

        Hehe we do don’t we πŸ™‚ I look forward to chatting more.

  3. […] Letters to a stranger ( […]

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