I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

Monster in my bed – a reading

on June 15, 2013

This is a reading of my poem “Monster in my bed” it is intended for the ears of adults and is NSFW. I did this to push myself, it wasn’t easy but I hope it’s understood. Peace.
(will only work in safari, chrome and firefox i believe)

8 responses to “Monster in my bed – a reading

  1. kevindeisher says:

    Wow, that is incredibly powerful and heartbreaking at the same time. You are so strong for sharing such an intimate poem. Blessings on you.

    • mckarlie says:

      Thank you so much. When something is a secret for so long it can be all the more damaging. This is all part of my ‘art therapy’ 🙂

      • kevindeisher says:

        I am a 51 year old man who was brutally attacked, beaten, and raped when I was 19. I never told anyone and buried it completely until I was 38. I have still never dealt with it appropriately and have been living with PTSD all this time. Later this summer my therapist and I are going to tackle it. We believe it is behind many of my problems with bipolar disorder and a newly diagnosed disassociation issue. I am fighting a similar battle to yours, so I can truly understand and appreciate the pain with which you write. You have a fan and fellow sojourner through the darkness.

      • mckarlie says:

        Oh matey that’s heartbreaking, it’s amazing how much damage people can do in our formative years, it follows us for so long. I had dissociative issues in my 20’s, when combined with the mania from my bipolar it got me in all kinds of trouble, i didn’t feel so much of life, it was almost like i was watching someone else in a movie. as a fellow bipolar sufferer, if you even want to chat or need some support, my email is – i studied psych and am studying counseling, so i am pretty decent at ‘listening’ if needed. peace to you

      • kevindeisher says:

        Thanks. My mania got me in a lot of trouble for a long time. I’m heading off to bed now but will share more tomorrow. Ciao Bella!

      • kevindeisher says:

        Art therapy sounds great. I wish I had some artistic talent!

  2. Thank you for being so brave to post this. I almost had to stop it but I pulled through to the end. Just the fact that you can read this out loud at all tells me that you have made great progress, more than I have. No child should have to endure such evil. Great work.

    • mckarlie says:

      yeah, i draw great strength from my own daughters, that’s the only reason i’m able to face this after 25 odd years. i had tears streaming down my face as i read it, and my poor husband had to leave the room, but it’s an exercise in art therapy for me, and hopefully me shining a light on such a horrid act may somehow help others to face or tackle their own similar experiences. no child should ever experience such things, but unfortunately, it happens all too often 😦

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