I have happiness in my heart and a thorn in my soul

the bachelor/ette and why we like to watch others fall over

on June 4, 2013

seriously, no offense to anyone who likes the show but….

yesterday while studying i had the tv going in the background and as my brain often does while studying, i desperately clung onto a distraction. now, it was a woman with a bunch of men bidding for her affection so i’m guessing it was the bachelorette as opposed to the bachelor but either way, it’s the same contemptible theme. i watched a couple of episodes, well parts of episodes, of the bachelor about a year ago, i do this sometimes just to figure out why things are so popular, and i think the bachelor appeals because of that morbid fascination society has with watching a train wreck unravel before their eyes.

for anyone not familiar with the show, i believe they start with what like 15 or 20 women (or men for the bachelorette) and one bachelor. they go on group dates and he gets to chose women for one on one dates and basically, all these people compete and show pony themselves to try and score a marriage proposal at the end of the season. when they eliminate contestants, they do a rose ceremony where successful women are given a rose and asked to stay, and the one left standing there flowerless is sent home, no husband for her!

for starters, how the hell can you truly get to know a person when they have to be ‘on’ ALL the time. one slight sign of any personality flaws and you’re effectively done for. half the people there see the bachelor as a prize to be won, and use tactics against other contestants in their desperate attempts for attention, ’cause when you have that many women fighting for one dude, attention must be hard to come by.

so based on the premise of having to be attractive and together and enticing ALL of the time, more so than other accomplished attractive women, how the fuck does anyone really get to know anyone else? they don’t, the show has a terrible success rate when it comes to the relationships lasting beyond the show. i mean, if you spent a couple of months having these women fawn over you and cater to your every whim, you feel that you fall in love with one in particular and start a life with this person, only to find that once the game’s up she’s a real life girl with flaws and faults and imperfections, well goodness, earth shattering shit right? it’s setting people up to fail, i genuinely believe it’s pretty harmful to the women involved, and men in the case of the bachelorette, but from what i can tell they are usually a little more resilient as the competition portion is key for them.

so why am i having a whinge about a tv show? well, ’cause i felt like it really, haha. i know it’s not my usual garb but it really got under my skin and i needed to vent a little. it reminds me of the current situation with Amanda Bynes, anyone with a vague understanding of mental health or even a decent sense of appropriation can tell that this girl is surfing a different reality wave to most, that there is definitely some pretty serious issues at play and yet she has 1.7 million followers on twitter (where she does most of her hate speeches). i admit, i briefly followed her a little while ago, i saw people egging her on ‘go amanda, ignore the haters you’re amazing’, that kind of thing, it’s so sad that a person who is clearly screaming for help has these yes people helping her believe it’s not her, it’s the rest of the world.

the same thing happened with charlie sheen, his mental issues peaked and suddenly he was on twitter with a bazillion followers. he did a tour ffs! tiger blood and all that nonsense, even he’s admitted he was balls out crazy there for a while, but the public loved it, watched on with amazement.

the fact of it is, so long as people out there are eating this shit up, they are gonna keep making such shows and reporting on such people. it’s the modern day version of going to the circus to see a freak show, so you can’t blame society for being human, but maybe we can encourage each other to support instead of point and stare and laugh.

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